Saturday, November 13, 2010

Now, say "please."

Today’s society encourages individuals to demand more than they need. We coddle the individuals who complain. Our generation is lazy and thinks we deserve everything without working for it BECAUSE the customer service industry encourages this bad behavior.

Example one. A new hostess at the restaurant I work at accidently gives a customer extra toppings on their granola for free. The customer comes in the next day, asking for the same thing and complains when the price is higher. We politely explain that each employee is supposed to charge for the extra toppings and it must have been a mistake. We then emphasize the fact that she was lucky, in that she received a meal for less than any other customer would receive it. Instead of appreciating her good fortune, the lady continues to complain, stating that she does not understand how an establishment would charge different prices; that, since she received her meal for less initially, she should not have to pay more this time.

What part of this makes sense? Why would an individual feel entitled in such a way? What this lady is failing to recognize is that she got lucky. In every other instance, she would have been charged more to begin with. She would not have gotten a deal and, therefore, she would not have expected to pay less. Also, due to her complaints, the hostess that made an innocent mistake will most likely get in trouble for this situation.

The end result of this situation was that the customer got a deal again. Due to her endless whining, and because “we value our customers” and “the customer is always right,” she gets her granola for less. She is rewarded for her complaining.

Example two. When shopping in a store, I observed two different situations. The first situation I overheard was a sales person talking to a young man. The young man was trying to return a piece of merchandise, speaking calmly and politely. Apparently, an accident had occurred and the man was trying to figure out if the business could replace, or at least assist in fixing, the broken item. The sales person was apologetic but could do nothing in situation. The second situation was a middle-aged woman, slightly red in the face, demanding that someone help her. Her story changed numerous times, but her emotional outburst continued to increase in volume. The sales person, frantic and nervous, was quickly trying to find a superior to help with the situation. From what I could tell, the business not only did everything in their power to fix this lady’s problem, but also offered her more than she had initially purchased.

Now, why does this rude woman, who was most likely lying about her situation, receive compensation, while the polite young man, who was honest, does not? The lesson individuals learn from this is that being honest and calm about problems does not pay off. Only by demanding more than you deserve and being rude about it will you be satisfied in how your situation is resolved.

Friday, September 17, 2010

How different we all are...

Has society demanded, and subsequently achieved, equality for both genders to the point of losing sight and losing appreciation of their differences?

I have come into contact with many, many different kinds of people, male and female. While some basic generalities can be assumed about each gender, I have found that it is each individual that differs greatly. There are men who cringe at hearing any word referring to commitment, while there are men who are actively pursuing the goal of marriage, who have no fear of the future. There are women who would love nothing more than to be a mom and there are women who have no desire to ever come into contact with a child. More so than one gender being asked to be tougher, more independent, less sensitive, less emotional than the other, I have found that our society simply wants each individual to conform to an “American” image of strength and independence.

I think our society needs to embrace the differences in personality found in the world. Women (and men) are emotional beings. Demanding that an individual “toughen up” is belittling the power an emotional individual has in this world. Humans need both extremes. While a less sensitive, less emotional individual may be called to fill a more political role, or simply the role of a leader, a more emotional person is vital when dealing with other situations. Each individual is specially crafted to purposely affect the lives of the others around them. Placing fault on someone for being too sensitive or not sensitive enough is assuming that your way is the right way. When is comes to basic personality traits, there is no wrong or right. All that is required is that individuals take the time to understand each other and appreciate the differences.

In the past, the woman was called upon to be a mother and a wife. The woman was the softer side of the relationship, providing a warm haven for the rest of the family. While at times this view was used to suppress women and prevent them from pursuing intellectual goals, this was also a role that was vital to society. Victorian society did not simply think women were incapable of intellectual thoughts. Some individuals genuinely believed that the roles that women held during this time were vital to the balance of humankind. The man was not viewed as being able to fill this role as women were. Due to the fact that men have tended to be in positions of power or in the limelight, the roles of wife and mother have been viewed as being lower, more subservient, less important. However, this is simply untrue.

As a society, we need to encourage each individual to pursue their own goals, to try and provide the opportunities and means to achieving these goals. However, we need to be careful not to demean the roles which appear to be below others. Many of my female friends face constant ridicule for wanting to be a mother and wife. I also have male friends who think females incapable of being able to fill certain roles or jobs. They think men are simply better at doing certain things. While this may prove true for certain occupations requiring more physical strength, each individual should be able to try. While not every person is equal in their capabilities, each person is equal in the respect that they have the right to try.